# Dating In The Control Booth



## Tomas (Mar 18, 2009)

I don't if this should go here or not. Not really a good place for it anywhere. Has anyone ever dated someone thats in shows your running tech for? If so how did it work out? What happened? 

Yes I have done it and I will never do it again.... I dated someone that was in band,choir,talent shows, musicals, and other events. What has been said that tech people are the right people to date if you do a lot they make sure everything goes right for you. 

So basically she used me for her own gain. She screwed me over bad. We were going out before a singing contest american idol for our high school and then when it was over she broke up with me over myspace when I was at the hospital with my dad who had a heart attack. This is only half of the story but really I thought she loved me but it was all a lie. 

So take my advice never date anyone your running tech for. The truth is they are only going out with you to use you for there own gain. I'm sure someone on the form is going through this right now and I'm tell you to put a end to it before its too late... 

I just came up with a quote Trust a tech over a actor if a tech is on the fly rail and yells heads you get the hell out of the way but if a actor yells heads everyone stands thinking he/she is acting and someone gets hurt and that person might be you. 

and

Don't put your heart in a actors hands... do you see what they do to the sets!


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## Les (Mar 18, 2009)

I've done it twice, and it didn't work out either time. One time was an actress (6 months) and the other was an actress/stage crew member (only a couple of months and she was VERY weird). Theatre girls just don't seem to be my type. Instead I married a girl who has some interest in theatre but doesn't base her life around it, and hasn't done a show since middle school. She's more in to making clothes and crafty sort of things. I think it's great that there are those out there who are dating or married to someone of the same profession, but sometimes I think there can be too many similarities between two people. It's good to have different interests to a certain extent. Depending on the person, having similar expertise can sometimes become a competition, which is rarely very healthy. Again, for those who have been successful at it, I think it's great.


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## Footer (Mar 18, 2009)

I don't think I would go that far with don't ever date someone who is onstage. I met my wife working on shows in college. She is a dancer, but she was working on a practicum lighting crew. I was the house TD for the space they were in and we hit it off there. (I was also the TA of the lighting class she was in... but we won't go there). 

I have dated both in and out of the theatre world, dated a girl for 4.5 years, all through high school, all through her undergrad, and through a year of her grad school (I was 2 years younger). It did not work out because she simply did not understand what is was that I did and why I had to be where I was when I was. My wife knows what I do, and why I do it. In fact, she has worked as an electrician professionally for the last 2 years when she is not doing other things. Don't discount "the other side" right now.


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## cprted (Mar 18, 2009)

Tomas said:


> So basically she used me for her own gain. She screwed me over bad. We were going out before a singing contest american idol for our high school and then when it was over she broke up with me over myspace when I was at the hospital with my dad who had a heart attack. This is only half of the story but really I thought she loved me but it was all a lie.



Ain't love grand?


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## Tomas (Mar 18, 2009)

cprted said:


> Ain't love grand?



OH YES IT IS!!! HAHAH


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## sk8rsdad (Mar 18, 2009)

cprted said:


> Ain't love grand?



Several hundred grand...


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## cprted (Mar 18, 2009)

sk8rsdad said:


> Several hundred grand...


Only if you marry them ...


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## MSLD (Mar 18, 2009)

I was dating a girl that broke up with me because we spent TOO much time together. 

Explain that.


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## mattbarnes84 (Mar 18, 2009)

iv done that... TROUBLE on the catwalk... i'll let it rest with just that


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## drama81 (Mar 18, 2009)

I am a lighting/sound tech. I am married to the stage manager at my theatre. He does his job I do mine. If there is a disagreement at work it is dealt with in a professional manner. Our personal lives stay at home. It works great. We both do what we love and love what we do. The senior tech I work with is married to an actor and they work out just fine. In fact she loves to watch him on stage. So keep your chin up.


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## erosing (Mar 19, 2009)

I've always had a thing for stage managers. It's a curse, but it's a good one. In highschool I was close with two of them (both who also were actors on and off) and still am with one, but it never really went past being really close friends because of schedules and ages. Then there was an actor or two but again, schedules got into the mix. Then I got close to my fiance my senior year in highschool when she was the stage manager, and we're still going strong. Theatre relationships can work out, you just need to find the work/reality ratio that suits the two of you. And if all else fails with actors for you, try the SM.


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## DaveySimps (Mar 19, 2009)

I dated another tech for about a year and a half at a road house we worked for way back when. We both worked most of the same calls and, at times she was even on my crew. Management knew and was good with it. For us it worked out very well, since it afforded us time to see each other that we would not have otherwise had both working a lot and going to undergrad at different schools. We were also both very good at keeping work stuff and personal stuff in their proper places. I think this was the key to it all. On the flip side, I have seen WAY to many relationships of the similar arrangement that have been disastrous to the work environment.

~Dave


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## derekleffew (Mar 19, 2009)

There's an old saying which may be applicable here. To paraphrase: "Don't defecate where you ingest."


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## jessamarie6 (Mar 19, 2009)

I've been dating an actor for almost five years and it's working out wonderfully. I find it very helpful that he can understand and appreciate what I do and I can do the same for him, but we're never in competition. On a purely professional side it's helpful that we can introduce each other to our respective contacts and expand both of our opportunities. What is required is a mutual respect for the work you do. If you don't understand the work it takes to be an actor or vice-versa it will never work.


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## jwl868 (Mar 19, 2009)

derekleffew said:


> There's an old saying which may be applicable here. To paraphrase: "Don't defecate where you ingest."



Or (for General Audiences):

Don't fish off the company pier.


Joe


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## Kelite (Mar 19, 2009)

jwl868 said:


> Or (for General Audiences):
> 
> Don't fish off the company pier.
> 
> ...




Now THAT is sound wisdom...




(I must admit that I was surprised by the numerous 'go for it' success stories I've read within this thread and say KUDOS to each of you that manage to balance personal and professional interests. Yes it is truly a balancing act, but after all- this IS show business!)


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## icewolf08 (Mar 19, 2009)

I know plenty of people who are dating or married to people in the business. I know at least one LD married to an actor, our artistic director is married to an actor, on of my friends from school just got engaged to a girl he met on tour. I think that as long as you both understand what the other is doing and you both are as dedicated to eachother as your work then you should be ok.


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## mattbarnes84 (Mar 19, 2009)

My wife hates that i'm the tech for Tift Theatre. Iv been init for the past 10 years and been married for 4.


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## ReiRei (Mar 19, 2009)

I've been dating a tech that has already graduated from my high school for the past year and a half. And it's been great, we're still really happy with each other. The only time I get irritated with him is when I'll tell someone to do something and he's like, "why don't you do it this way, it's a lot easier. And I don't think that will work." At first I'm a little irked. But he usually ends up being right. It's good that I can bounce ideas off of him and he knows what's going on though.  

And i have to say is that if you're going to date someone you work with, keep it professional at work. Also, try not to date people you work with if you're in high school with them, as far as I've seen it doesn't work out well. That's just high school I think.

But don't worry Tomas, not all girls in theatre are like that. Don't let it get you down.


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## mrb (Mar 20, 2009)

cprted said:


> Only if you marry them ...



im not going to get married. ill just find someone i dont like and give her 1/2 my stuff


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## achstechdirector (Mar 20, 2009)

I've dated an actress and she...well...it was bad. Not only was she dramatic, but when I broke up with her for talking about me behind my back, she ruined my reputation in theatre with the newer people, who at that time was my asst. TD, my secretary(also the president of the theatre), and 98% of my crew. Well...I have finally gotten my reputation back because most people knew me well enough, but she still made my road rocky for a while. So NO NO NO NO NEVER DATE AN ACTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## lieperjp (Mar 20, 2009)

achstechdirector said:


> I've dated an actress and she...well...it was bad. Not only was she dramatic, but when I broke up with her for talking about me behind my back, she ruined my reputation in theatre with the newer people, who at that time was my asst. TD, my secretary(also the president of the theatre), and 98% of my crew. Well...I have finally gotten my reputation back because most people knew me well enough, but she still made my road rocky for a while. So NO NO NO NO NEVER DATE AN ACTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



An actor... being dramatic??? Didn't see that one coming.


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## cprted (Mar 20, 2009)

mrb said:


> im not going to get married. ill just find someone i dont like and give her 1/2 my stuff


That saves a lot of hassle.

A wise man once told me, "if she's not happy, you're not happy. If she's not happy for long enough, you're not happy with half your stuff."


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## achstechdirector (Mar 20, 2009)

lieperjp said:


> An actor... being dramatic??? Didn't see that one coming.



Dramatic is an understatement. RANT,RANT,RANT,RANT,RANT


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